So much so, that I actually avoid doing yoga.
Something I know will have daily and lifelong benefits for me. Something I think I’d enjoy.

How I developed this, I am not quite sure. I roll out my purple mat and can’t seem to relax into a downward dog or even consider standing on my head for friggin’ Sirsasana because of the huge “what if it happens” lingering in the air.

The more I talk about it, the bigger the fear grows.

Yes, odds are high that by being contorted in a new position something unpleasant or unexpected might happen. But rationally, I know I can’t physically combust.

Truth is, I created this flatulently inflated failure scenario. It came after trying yoga and feeling totally uncomfortable. That mirror reflecting twenty eyeballs watching me put pressure on how I expected myself to perform. I found myself holding my breath, and evidently my ass.

So what is this madness about?
It’s about caring way too much about what people think. It’s being uncomfortable putting it all out there and worrying what will happen if I do.

I’m dragging my farty yoga scenario around other places too. It’s my permission slip to avoid trying things I’m meant to do. That I would love to do. For fear of “blowing it.

Perhaps it is high time for me to take some lessons from the guy with with the sweaty back hair and too tight nut huggers that doesn’t give a damn. He’s getting his yoga on and I’m not.

Unlike the freedom Mr. Sweaty Back Hair enjoys, I am just sweating it. I subconsciously process what people will say if I fart – um fail. That’s when the noose of a million little excuses begins to restrain me. I start to turn down yoga invitations. I start to make excuses for not trying again. I start saying no to opportunities.

Ultimately, all staying in my comfort zone is doing for me is denying the possibility for something great to happen. Like maybe I can totally stand on my head and do a leg split once I let one rip.

I am sure the Yoga masters did not expect that this is how I would find transcendental enlightenment. My bad. Didn’t get that memo.

I did get the memo that says, like farty yoga, life is uncomfortable.
I will be put in positions that feel unnatural. Awkward. Pressure filled.
Those are the edges where I will expand.

And, you know what? I finally did it. I farted in yoga. I lived to tell about it. My friends did not abandon me. My husband did not divorce me. The yogis in the room didn’t issue me a dreaded scarlet letter “F” to emblazon my yoga top. Because you know what, everybody farts. Everybody blows it at some point.

Interestingly enough, once we blow it, we see it wasn’t so bad. Then the good stuff usually starts to happen. We are free. We can breathe again.

So, as my husband says, “get comfortable being uncomfortable.”
As I say, life is too short to hold it in.

Personal update: I am now doing a 28-day yoga challenge and beginning my first book. Both totally uncomfortable and both totally worth it.

Thank you Nani Bacon of Balance Yoga of Lakeway, TX, Lisette Johnson of Shameless Survivors and writer, Ann Hood for your inspiration.

Waking up, these are the sounds of grace.

Mom, whipping up eggs in the kitchen. Expert, loving hands.

Hands that look like mine but with more practice on them, making those familiar smells of eggs and bacon and beans come out of pans. Hands I hope mine move like someday.

Gracie, our new golden pup, at my side, pushing a rainbow slinky with her nose across the tile. Rapt in discovery.
Gracie, because she came to us on a Sunday.
Gracie to remind me of the lightness and unconditional love of Grace.

Avery, her little girl breath going in an out at the kitchen table, already gluing, already creating.
Tiny fingers pressing out dot after dot of glue, her face intent and peaceful. Her colorfulness sitting still in her body for once, but coming out rainbows all over the green page.

My niece Mia, shifting the stuffing to curl just right in a PJ’d ball on the beanbag.
Me, eavesdropping on the sleepy whispers between cousins as the sun comes up.

My Daddy, his steady footsteps coming in, coffee mug landing on the table.
Him keeping mom quiet company while she cooks.
Always there, always steady.

My husband and Dylan, and their good silence from upstairs from sleeping in this morning.
Because there is no worry in a two-year old boy and a man at peace today.

The breeze whistling through the covered porch.
The ranch animals stirring, braying, chirping.
Listening to it all from this porch that frames a view of a life I wouldn’t give up for anything.

These are the sounds of my Sunday.
It is pure grace…and I am grateful.

As I sit in the luxury of an open book that called to be read, these words from Ann Voskamp’s “One Thousand Gifts” matter.

“The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now.”

Mom calls us to breakfast. We all sit gathered at the table “thanking Jesus for this food.” And inside me, I say yes, I am so very thankful.

For the food.
For these sounds.
For all of it.

Now that I realize the effort this must have been to pull this off, I think my parents are living saints.

But for us this year, a beach trip didn’t fit into the plan – a new puppy and my daughter requiring toe surgery threw our Spring Break plans for a little loop. So we decided to bring a little of that beachy spirit to us.

“Life’s a Beach” craft day was born!

Oh Michael’s craft store, how I love thee. A little walk down the aisles gave me all the inspiration I needed. Here’s what we came up with:

PET ROCK BEACH
Materials: Ocean Colored Glass Beads, base of a terracota planter, sparkly sand, large round stones or river rocks, permanent markers, googly eyes, craft glue.

This was such a fun project. Avery loved gluing the glass beads around the terracota planter base. We used a craft glue and let them dry a little.

James worked side by side with her making his pet rocks. He decided his would be “alien” pet rocks on the beach. Love it!

Then we filled the base with sand and some beachy accessories like a sand dollar we had.

And finally, our pet rocks were ready for their beach vacation!

Makes me smile whenever I see it.

Avery also loved the tray of sand for just some plain sensorial fun and she decided some of her plastic animals needed a little trip to the beach too.

MESSAGES IN A BOTTLE
The cousins were coming over later, so the kids prepared messages in a bottle. I found these glass bottles at Michael’s for 2 bucks each with a coupon, but you can recycle your own and just tie on some twine and a shell.

They now want to get all Nicholas Sparks on me and make stoppers and float them in the pool later.

BUBBLE FEST 2012
Finally for some outside time, we got the “Bubble Bonanza” bucket of bubble blowers of all shapes and sizes from Michael’s for $4.99. The kids had a blast and no sharing battles – priceless. Even more priceless, the giggles from my two-year old Dylan.

This weekend, we’ll be doing some fishing and water balloon fun at our ranch in the hill country. I have fun ideas stewing for little fishing tackle boxes for each of the kids. Let’s see what we come up with!

I think some of these ideas would also be super fun for a kids beach birthday or ocean theme party.

Hope you and your family enjoy some good clean, creative fun this Spring Break – wherever your travels or “stay”-cation may take you!

The fact that she and I share a mega-sentimental love for Alison Krauss’s song, “When You Say Nothing at All” because it was played at both of our weddings makes me feel like I know her already.

And this cool “pay-if-forward” style award makes me love this world of blogging even more where we can each have our own voice while fueling and supporting one another’s creativity at the same time.

Taslim is a mom, blogger, creative life coach and speaker – a Renaissance Mom in every sense. Her book reviews make me want to snuggle under my covers to tear through the pile of books stacked high on my nightstand, waiting to be read, and then add her picks to the pile. I hope you take some time to get to know her here.

Taslim thought my blog was deserving of “The Versatile Blogger Award”. It’s my first blogging award and now I’m sitting here typing like a schoolgirl from my couch – giddy and thankful. More than anything, it confirms there is a world out there reading these words I put out into the universe, and to know that world is made of women like Taslim reading makes it that much more awesome.

Thank you so very much Taslim! Here’s the award I now get to wear proudly on this site.

THE RULES

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass this Award along to 5 recently discovered blogs and let them know about it.

7 Things About Me:

1. I swam with sharks in the Galapagos Islands. I’ve been down an Olympic Bobsled course. I hiked a glacier while pregnant in Iceland. But, why can’t I make it down the “Tower of Terror” at Disneyland without suffering a near death experience?
2. I love homely pajamas – I am trying to reform, but the more comfy and broken in and um, well, homely – the better. I’m wearing some right now in fact.
3. My first writing award was First Place in the Texas Sesquicentennial Essay Contest. I was 13. I still have it. They say the child in you knows the secret of what you are meant to be. I suppose sometimes it just takes a few detours on the road to remembrance.
4. I rank almost exactly dead center on the Myers-Briggs introvert/extrovert scale – what can I say, I’m a Gemini – and a messed up mix of a homebody/multitasker that likes quiet but not being alone.
5. I call my mom at least twice a day. She rocks. She’s been a nurse, teacher, restaurant owner, cook extraordinaire and mother of five. She’s the original Renaissance Mom in my book.
6. I dance to the bass. My husband dances to the treble. That can be problematic. Unless we are salsa dancing and somehow it all just works.
7. My not-so-secret desire is to share the stories of other Renaissance Moms (at least 2 a month), and compile a book about the women out there pursuing their passions while being moms. If you are one or know one – I’d love to hear more!

And now the best part…pay it forward. I get to pass on this award to 5 blogs that I love! Here goes..
1. Pinkletoes Photography - Michele’s photography is like a stunning love journal of the lives of each family she captures and her mommy stories make me giggle, weep and laugh out loud.
2. House of Design – Lauren has an eye for creativity and inspiration in places we wouldn’t even think to look, and she translates that into incredible design concepts and products that make her clients pleased as punch.
3. The Sacred Sanctuary – Aline sees things from a place of pure grace and goodness. Her insights are almost otherworldly and profound, and have a connection and truth that shines through no matter what you believe.
4. A Holy Experience – because Ann has a gift for writing that can only be touched by God.
5. What Kelly Said – Kelly is just..so..real. And funny. And I like her lists, and yummy recipes, and well just about all the everyday things we can all relate to that she writes about.

Hope you enjoy these blogs and spread the love!

I may not be Einstein, but I did know if I spent one more morning…

…late to school looking for a lost shoe

…digging out a coat from a heaping pile

…searching for a homework bag from the 3rd seat of the Suburban,

I was going to lose my mind.

So I set out on a mission. Mission: Organization.

I may not have found a total cure for insanity, but I did quite literally find a Cure for Space.

Brigitte Starkey, that is. A saucy German with a warm soul, a creative mind, and an efficiency for organization that makes my head spin and my mommy heart do cartwheels.

This is what mornings look like now:

and this..

.

The kids love it, it is SOOO all about Montessori independence which you know I am a huge fan of, and mama can finish her morning protein shake instead of looking for shoes on the trampoline. Thank you Brigitte! Sanity restored.

Brigitte and her talented team custom designed and built the children’s storage cubbies. I’ll be featuring more of the creative solutions she’s helped me implement in my home in later posts. You can find more about Cure for Space’s services and solutions at www.cureforspace.com.

For your Spring Break Bucket List, or “wishlist of experiences” as I try to explain to my kiddos, all you need is:
- a bucket
- clothespins
- markers
- creativity!

For you creative types, just search “Bucket List” on Pinterest and some of the ideas will blow your hair back.

But I know me and clothespins and markers is about what I can muster.

I’m thinking each family member gets three Bucket List wish list items so it’s fun and not overwhelming. Can’t wait to see what the kids and hubby come up with. As for me, did I just say I could only pick three!?!

I went to church for many years.
Then I didn’t.
Now I find myself somewhere in between.

It’s safe to say though I’m almost 39 I am still a beginner in my spiritual learning. I’ve always held a deep faith and belief in God yet still have lots of questions. It feels like a restlessness in reconciling my heart and my mind that gets in my way. So, at this time in my life I find myself called to gain some deeper understanding.

We are studying the Book of Genesis this week and as a former English major, studying a text in this way is actually thrilling and fascinating. My brain and heart are swirling but in a very good way. My husband is getting a kick out of me looking like a college student again at my kitchen table studying on a Tuesday evening, and having endless deep thought questions at crazy hours of the night.

For those of you interested, this is the book study we are using:

Some days, I struggle with all I am taking in. I struggle with what I see as “truth.” But today, I stumbled across these vacation photos just after coming home from my study group.

And I realized this.

There are a lot of things I don’t know. And, I will never know everything (though sometimes I may pretend I do.)

But what I do know is that in moments like this, witnessing my husband and youngest son together watching a sunset that I can only see as a pure miracle of creation, I am certain a loving and amazing God exists.

And he is good. Pure love, pure light and and pure goodness.

Thank you Rebekah Trevelise of TrevAthlete for your friendship and support. Some people are placed in our lives for a reason. I am so very grateful for your gentle presence in connecting me with this amazing group of women of faith. You inspire me each day by the way you live life so beautifully and authentically.

That’s until these little words entered my head at about 2am one night so strongly that I had to write them down.

“So often for our children we secretly hold the desire for them to be the prettiest, the strongest, or the smartest. I’m abandoning this. Instead I pray to model a life of cultivating one’s passions and one’s inner discipline. In this way, may I guide our children to find their true beauty, their strength, and their genius. ” – Maria Carter

The power in words truly comes forth in the sharing of them.

So for all of you reading, what words tug at you so strongly you’d put your own name beside them? I want to know.

Small pyrex bowls, index cards, beans, cotton balls, pennies…my daughter did this over and over and over again with the different items until she mastered it. She had a lot of fun and dinner got made. Then we just added bigger numbers! Let me know your quickie ideas for keeping your kids skills engaged over the summer – I’ll take any tips I can get!

Avery has two brothers and in my effort to give her some special girl time this summer, and an opportunity for independence free from mom and the boys, I enrolled her in Princess Dance Camp. After 20 minutes of wailing in her tutu while the other princesses in camp swirled around her, she was escorted out by the instructor yelling earnestly, “I don’t want to be a Princess, I just want to go jump on the trampoline!” My never-give-up instinct kicked in and wrestled with having her stick it out. We sat there another 15 minutes until my husband’s words about our kids silently echoed in my head, “just let them be.”

Clarity struck and I realized Princess Dance Camp was more for me than for Avery. Even though I have three sisters and one brother, I was a tomboy most of my childhood. I still can’t comb my hair in a decent hairstyle, I didn’t wear makeup until I was 18, and I live in jeans 90 percent of the time. My friends are pleasantly shocked when they see me in a dress. I played restaurant, store and built tents, rather than dressed Barbies and princesses. I guess I wanted Avery to experience all the girly-ness I didn’t thinking I missed out on something. If I’m honest, I wouldn’t change a thing. I have great girlfriends, I’ve grown into my “girly” side and I still love to run on the trails and get muddy. I have friends that DO love dress up and love to play dress up on ME, so that solves the hair and clothing dilemmas.

I am all about celebrating the “divine feminine” as my friend Aline would say. I just realize that the divine comes in many packages. Who knows, a year from now, Avery might find great joy in Princess Dance Camp and that would be adorable. Until then, Avery loves animals like crazy, and drags her seven foot hot pink snake, “Willie” into our chiropractors office each week for her adjustment. She is funny and sweet, and even though she can rock a tutu, she does it on her terms with dirty bare feet on the trampoline.

So, here’s our own version of Princess summer camp with her little bro (see pic below):

As Avery wiped her tears and we drove home from the princess experiment, this Dr. Seuss quote came to mind, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” I guess at the end of the day, I’m glad Avery passionately spoke her mind. I hope that’s the woman she’ll be someday too.